Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.

I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....

I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses

I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).

I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher

I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it

I will think of a password other than "password."

I will not tell the same story at every get together

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks

I will be more imaginative

I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks

I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number